Saturday, December 31, 2011

Fairy Tale

So many words
Don't mean it's all just talk
Don't you know with others I'm quiet?
And for so long there was only silence
Exile and running and violence
Within death ran riot
Put your hand in mine and come for a walk
Let us listen to the songs of the birds
We could be great together in our
    time, Charlene


Have you not yet figured it out?
Do you not know who I am?
I am the prince
And you are the girl
And were we at last to kiss
We might set fire to this world


I must go among them in disguise   
So that they may speak the more freely
And I escape all notice
Though for the kiss of recognition I yearn
Then lionhearted and sure will I return
To dispel the lies that were told us
About heresy and gold and opportunity
Strike a blow against fortune and men's eyes
And win the hand of the fair Charlene 


Have you not yet figured it out?
Do you not know who I am?
I am the prince
And you are the girl
And were we at last to kiss
We might set fire to this world


When I sipped from the chalice
She cried
I never sipped from the chalice
I lied
But I kept on searching
And I didn't die 


The thought of you starts my heart to dance
I wish you could see the way you look in my eye
Election is the conceit of the learned
History is the conceit of nations
I went unseen at all of their stations
And there was no mercy in the offerings they burned
Stand with me amidst all their pleas and cries
Make fate our own and love our circumstance
Two together is the greatest force, Charlene


Have you not yet figured it out?
Do you not know who I am?
I am the prince
And you are the girl
And were we at last to kiss
We might set fire to this world


Mistake not in my cloak of rags
For my soul does not rove in tatters
And as a king I am with thee
In these and country matters
A world for you I would procure
And with my lines proclaim
Invite you where no other has stepped
With you share the same
For these things I make are not less than real
Even greater for the claim
Won't you walk out with me tonight, Charlene
In the soft midnight rain?


Have you not yet figured it out?
Do you not know who I am?
I am the prince
And you are the girl
And were we at last to kiss
We might set fire to this world

Seven Muddy Horses

The first time I saw them in a dream
Loping through a mountain pass
The next time I saw them was in town
Coming cross the river bridge
Running fast
Seven muddy horses


On one sat a rider
His face a mask, of grim countenance
     and death
Red roses where his eyes had been
And no one rode the rest
Seven muddy horses


The next time I saw them
Was on the burying ground
Standing in a herd at a respectful distance
With their heads bowed down
Seven muddy horses


John Brown rode a cock horse
Jesus rode a mule
One of them was a savior
The other a madman and a fool
I'm not afraid of dying, especially out of doors
But I'm not going to any more funerals, especially yours
Sometimes late at night when the candles are burning
And there's no one else around
That's when I hear the sound
Seven muddy horses
Seven muddy horses
Seven muddy horses
Going down 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Heterochromia (Mengele's Dogs)

Now he is an old man
For demons never age
On a bench in the sun
In a place too warm to be home
Playing fetch with the strays
The way others toss kernels and crusts
To the pigeons and swans

They come to him when he calls
With happy tails and shrill yelps and eager
As free as gypsies and no better fed
And he pats them and feeds them and is
    withal so kind
In his old man's soul and panama hat
That only a hard heart could fail to be moved by it


Each day he comes
For each one of them he has
   a name
Some affectionate diminutive
Though none of them will ever
    amount to anything
Even their sexual indiscrimination
    pleases him
Though as refutation or proof no
    one can say

When they are sick or hurt he
    treats them
With tinctures and salves he prepares
    at home
And carries in a black physicians' bag
For the mange maybe
Or their various bites and scrapes
And always a little special something
For the bitches
When they are pregnant

How do you know it is him?
How can you be sure?
How can you be sure it is not?
Is  that all there is?
Is it more frightening like this, or less?
Which way do you see him?
It depends which eye you
     look out from
What strange permutations and infinity
    of combinations there are



Hard Labor

At this late date, I am a peasant
Without land, no history but in the family
Who committed my sins for me
Engaged in recording that which the act
    distances me from
And discerning shapes amidst shadows
In the leafless, lifeless forest
With the sun going down

I once knew of a man who said:
"I'll tell you this much ---
When you tell somebody your dreams
    and hopes
You better make sure they love you
    like a brother
Or your dreams and hopes probably
    won't come true."
I wonder what, he would say
Is the penalty for telling the dream of another?
I flatter myself

Hair Dye

Blonde turned red and shorter
Only whets my appetite
But I'll probably never know
Oh, for just a taste

Diaspora (A Brief History of Time)

So long it's been since I've been
    able to ride
Watch, and remember my generation
Death brings such shame to those
    it so selects
As if in payment for settling all debts
Who would not be, given such flattery
As the newspaper's tones and
   acquaintances' recollections
The closest grief always the most
   complex
And none of the dead are vain, not at all
For all the vain die way too soon, of envy
The dead learn much more than the living
With no way to use it and nothing to impart
Left are the ones glad to let go their claims
Entitled, as they still are, to their names
Places where they are called and honored
Clouds on the horizon, pussywillows
Bare trees in a marsh not that desolate
In time the beauty of women becomes
Heartbreaking, or are they all just girls now?
These days you know I must measure my beer
In smaller cups, so I may drink the more
The light coming low in the afternoon
High on the hills and not in the valley
Night before Thanksgiving, someone dying
I could say he was my friend, but what would
It matter; I could visit and it's been
A bright and spectacular November
If he made it, who would call him hero?
He followed his path just as surely
Both sides of the river, we die the same
Too tired to travel means you've arrived
I ride with strangers and stars that never were
Mexicans and old women and the gone
Many were exiled, some were redeemed

Decay

Pissing in the dark
Missing the mark
Just a little age

Dreams Will Come

Cold as ice
It was cold as ice out there
The wind came from the west
Clouds rolled over the emaciated hills
Over the skeletal, wintry hills
And as it was getting dark it started to snow

It seemed overnight winter had come, I said to myself
And pinned me where I stood
Pinned me right where I stood
Hiding at a filthy, frozen window
Watching the snow fall more gently
Against the darkening trees

Does your lover clench her fist as she sleeps
Like a child clutching a coin
I touch her, she wakes with a purr
Feel the fire in the kiss
Once I will wake up cold
And find morning turned to rain

Knowledge

Call it morbid curiosity
Or a kind of courage
Emerson looked

Mary Girvan's Grave

What is it that beckons to me
From these country graveyards?
Peace, please, I laugh
Unless you think them selfish
The dead do not sleep
Whether it be some God or me that raises them
Can we suppose them unconcerned?
Would you have them less virtuous in death than they were in life?
Have they never visited you?
Have you never called on them?
Silence and shade, no
I do not think the dead know more of these than I
Death is no darker than life
There are none more restless than those alone with
      their thoughts in a small place
Antiquity, no, again
Death is no older than tomorrow
It has no time
Order, the solace of resolution
Death has no reason
Other than that we begin
Ghosts, it is true
I am accustomed to their presence
Am more consoled than haunted by them
But I need not travel so far for their company
Need not even die to become one
One is born a ghost, after all
And death can do nothing to alter that
Any more than it changes the way
     one has lived
Did it have this power, why mourn?
Compassion? No, I do not forgive
   them, and I sense
   their resentment
What matters most to the dead is that
    they are dead
What matters most to us is that
    we live
Or should
I think I come for the names, and the
   certainty that God is not there
Any more than that they are with him
The absence of churches, abandoned and finally
    removed as the land rose in value
That the dead themselves have not yet been plowed
    further under testimony not to honorable memory,
        but fear and sanctimony as atavistic as greed
One honors the dead with the way one lives, and that evidence
    is all around them, crowding in on their little domain as the
       wires on our solitude
I come for the names, each separate one, and that
Which encompasses and distinguishes them all
And could not spoken of at home even as it surrounded us
And left me frightened not so much by its fact
As by its unspeakability, its trembling and silence
Wherefore then would I pray, if God's name could be pronounced?
What righteous awe could I feel for one so casually addressed?
So I turned myself rightside out to learn whether it was within, and where
And stared at it as if into a mirror, blinked but never turned away
Until now, in time; and never have I been to war, and never will I go
And never need you go, the one with your name, alone
No matter what all the others may do, no matter
   their gifts of riches and persuasion
Every taking is an act of war, every profit, every purchase, every crime,
   even against the criminal, each ownership, all speculation
         every manifestation of power
For you, the one with your name, alone
No matter what all the others may do, no matter
   their gifts of riches and persuasion
Death is supreme, yet it can be bought, money does its work
Life cannot, not yet, not ever, it can only be given
And taken for itself, it need be nor cost anything mor
And you are alive, and so am I
And for this some great Thanksgiving is owed
That I have been far too long in pronouncing
In the graveyard death has so many names, all of them different
And you can read them and speak them aloud and honor them
And when you do they are not so much diminished
And in pronouncing them it is defeated
Beneath her humble wooden cross Mary Girvan is four years old
Were her people too poor to afford a stone?
Too proud to ask their church for help?
Was it the Spanish flu that carried her away?
Her years are right, as etched on the whitewashed cross,
    and surely the epidemic struck hardest among children
Imagine a time when such things were possible
Where have you seen death?
On CNN or in a stock market report?
Do you pity the poor immigrant  or hound him
     from your streetcorners?
Would you condemn too young a man
    for his act of fathomless despair,
    or pray instead that the death he made be the last one?
To labor for its creation is all we will ever know of paradise
Where is your life recorded?  In a vault?  In the scratchings made by
    cats on cherrywood tabletops, restored, once lustrous antiques?
Do you have wrinkles around your eyes?  Did you laugh a lot,
    or stand too long in the sun?
One is always more than many
Else history is nothing more than a cemetery
And the doings of great men
Each time I leave her flowers, and behold

Argument with Myself

Well, you know, it all depends what you mean by it, of course
But if you mean what I think you mean
Then no
Do you know how long you've been asking this
There is no such thing as evil
Only us, ourselves, alone

Monday, December 26, 2011

Karl and Billy Bob (And Mary Shelley, Too)

A hole in the ground, a shed
Pictures of Jesus on the wall
A few words, a couple of books
Is the world too big, or are we too small?


I've tried so hard
The best I've done is sidelong glances
But I believe in Karl
So I'll take my chances


What is love to you?
Could you live inside your heart?
I like the way you talk
I end where you start






I've tried so hard
The best I've done is sidelong glances
But I believe in Karl
So I'll take my chances 


I don't understand all of it
(But you made Karl) 
I reckon I understand some of it
(But you made Karl)
And a record ain't a song
(But you made Karl)
And a song ain't a record
(But you made Karl)
Except of what was
(But you made Karl)
And was never meant to be
(But you made Karl)
A masterpiece of suffering  
Yet they would have you a clown
But you made Karl
You made Karl


I've tried so hard
The best I can do is sidelong glances
But I believe in Karl
So I'll take my chances




I haven't recovered any memories
But my memory is coming around
Maybe a blind horse is happiest
When it's kept underground
When you're running too fast
You don't think of nothin' else
Just staying ahead of what's chasing you
Trying to save yourself
In heaven, where God is
We may be as men
Here, where He is not
We must be as him
And that includes Karl
And that includes you
And that includes Billy Bob
And Mary Shelley, too



I've tried so hard 
The best I can do is sidelong glances
But I believe in Karl
So I'll take my chances

Friday, December 23, 2011

Fade Away

Church bells ringing, calling the damned
In all the towns where I was born
Green screens measure my days in little gold bands
It's April, but there's a frost every morning
Over all the miles where I'll never go
And I thought I heard my children crying
But it was just a sighing
On the wind
And I thought I heard the old ones calling 
Me home again
And I lie here on this bed of nails and I fade away








 Last night they came and took 
   my friend away
To that cold dark room on 
   down the hall
But me they just leave stay and stay
It's April but I wither like the 
   leaves in fall
With none of the splendor of 
   their dying
And I thought I heard some 
   whispering
Just like a lover in the night
And I thought I heard a guitar playing
And a harmonica blowing
And a black train rolling 
On out of sight
And I cross this bridge of sighs and I fade away


Memories pass like the hours, 
  as welcome they are as ghosts
As useful as all my mother's prayers
Like sentries chained to their posts
It's April, but the rain just doesn't care
And they're holding spring hostage
And I dreamed I was an orphan
All alone
And by myself
And I dreamed I was a
    childless mother
Sleepwalking in the street
The bastard of wealth
And I ride from this valley of fear
    and I fade away


The pipes they cough and
    they murmur, my blood 
    bubbles and broods
Sugar drips into my veins
The traveller's trapped in dark latitudes
It's April, but the trees are as bare
   as my skin
And the birds treat one another 
   like strangers
And I thought I saw an angel
Dancing over me
With a scimitar and a stone
And I pictured a ruined cottage
A cat scrabbling in the embers
A young girl crying, far from home
And I leave this vale of sorrow and I fade away


Friends come and go, like they have
    all my life
My husband sits helplessly by
He needed a mistress and 
   never a wife
It's April, but the cold tears
   like a razor
Through all the mortals tramping
   these streets
And I thought I heard the 
   young men mustering
Still marching
Off to war
And I thought I saw wheatfields
    burning
Floodtides rolling
A shooting star
And I ford this river of tears and I fade away


People change faces, and morning
   comes like a curse
Hissed from some serpent's throat
I reach out and ring for the nurse
It's April, but the sun is ashamed
And there's snow on the dirty gray hills
And I thought I heard my
    children crying
But it was just the lying
Of the wind
And I dreamed I could count the stars
But then I woke up
Here again
And I hang from this wooden cross and I fade away

Frame

He wished the world would understand
   that nothing is nothing
Then his model brought him dinner
Every day I roll the dice
But I'm not looking for a winner


And everybody needs someone 
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say to van Gogh?
What would you say to Vincent van Gogh?


Every day I find what I seek
Though it's never what I'm looking for
Emphasize the essential, ignore 
   the obvioua
Step through the coal miner's door


And everybody needs someone to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say to van Gogh?
What would you say to Vincent van Gogh?


Every day I make something I never 
    made before
And it is like becoming 
    young again
If flapping lips could save 
   sinking ships
This one would still be afloat 


And everybody needs some to
   tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say 
   to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?


I never heard a good sermon on resignation
And one will never be written
The big fish swallows the little fish
What would you tell the minnow as it's bitten?


And everybody needs someone to
   tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say
    to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?


And a walk to the bars can be a train
   to the stars
In the bars at night one can ruin oneself,
   go mad, or commit a crime
A painter becomes a peasant,
   a peasant a butterfly
Watch the dust of eternity settle 
   over time




And everybody needs someone to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say to van Gogh?
What would you say to Vincent van Gogh?


I would rather know a human soul 
   than a cathedral
A hillside than a steeple
I had the sun in my head and a storm
   in my heart
Jesus is in the wheatfields and
    in the people


And everybody needs someone 
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say 
   to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?




Never knew I had so many friends
Until they scattered
Never knew I had so many pieces
Until I shattered 


And everybody needs someone
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say
    to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?




I'm sure if one is brave
Recovery comes from within
I was hoping for a treasure
But I feared a djinn


And everbody needs someone
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say 
   to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?  




I want to see colors that complement 
   each other
That cause each other to 
   shine brilliantly
That complement each other 
   like a man and a woman
The enjoyment of any beautiful thing
   is a moment of infinity 


And everybody needs someone
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say 
   to van Gogh?
What would you say to 
   Vincent van Gogh?


If you could see colors that way
Imagine your despair at the end of day
If you could see colors that day
Imagine your despair at end of day


And everybody needs someone 
   to tell them something
Something they already know
Tell me, what would you say
    to van Gogh?
What would you say to
   Vincent van Gogh?










 So what would you do with Vincent van Gogh
When he hadn't a penny to his name?
What would you say to Vincent van Gogh
When he asked about his riches and his fame?
What would you do for Vincent van Gogh
Besides hand his pictures in a frame?


And what would you say to Vincent van Gogh?
This sadness will last forever
(It will be all right)
This sadness will last forever
(It will be all right)
The yellow and the black
You can't come back
The yellow and the black
You can't come back


What would you say to van Gogh?   
What would you say to van Gogh?
What would you say to van Gogh?
"What can I say?"
The angels are self-portraits
The angels are self portraits

This sadness will last forever 
(It will be all right)
This sadness will last forever
(It will be all right)\ 
   Repeat to your heart's content

A Pair of Shoes

The immediate cause
Is always the lesser reason
The slighter insult, which
Might be the better borne or
    shrugged off
If only justice operated in
    greater things
And made more common what others
   can the more easily afford

Everywhere dignity costs more than it
     used to
Cobbling has always been
     immigrant work
They come in the middle of the night
    to set up shop
Each year they speak a new language
And then when the landlord raises the rent
They disappear with your boots

Who can afford to have their shoes fixed anyway?
Isn't it really just an affectation,
An ostentatious display of that ancestral virtue
Which brought their current fortune?
What would you wear while you left them?
If I were rich I would give them more than you have
If I were God I could make a better heaven
Anyone could
Ain't that a shame, as old Fats Domino used to say
                  Anybody remember him?
How many shoes you think you wear out walkin' to New Orleans?
The quoted cost is never the price of purchase
Of anything, and how could you know
What it set me back?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Ride a Pony

Here come his old friends
In suits they never wear, with whiskey
    on their breath
Carrying a box of bones
This is death
Take a long look
Take a deep breath
You're still too young
You won't remember this


Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here
You have to rich to ride a pony 'round here


The hidden one says only the broken heart is whole
Yet on the life of the living each death takes its toll
Pay no attention to words of purpose and of a life beyond
Your father was a good, good man, and he had a beautiful soul


Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here


There was a woman at the ford
Washing bloody clothes in the river
Good woman, asked I,
    whose are those
These, my son, as the garments
     you chose
We'll all meet again, we don't have 
     to ask why
So don't you cry, little girl, little girl
     don't you cry




Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
You have to be rich to ride a pony
    'round here
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here


So check it out, God does shoot craps
It turns out he's the dice
You might even catch a glimpse of him in the alley
    over there
But you'd have to look twice
To the five hundredth power
And in an infinite number of places
Cause most of what he makes is all the dark stuff
And empty spaces


Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here
You have to be rich to ride a pony 'round here


So try not to be too very sad
You see the past lights our days
The brilliance of the stars you see
Comes from so very far away
Sometimes you don't even have 
    to move
Just let the rain wear you
    right down
Slowly it washes it all away
And you flow right out into 
    the ground
God don't let even stones vanish
Everything everywhere becomes 
    something else
You can find all the pieces of a soul
In the dust upon your shelf


Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
Maybe you could ride a pony
You have to be rich to ride a pony
    'round here
You have to be rich to ride a pony
    'round here







Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Brokenheart: For Elisa Izquierdo


You know, there's nothing I can do for you either
And this would be true even if it were not
    already too late
You've already known so much more than I have
Been kissed by a prince, and burned with cigarettes
Adorned with rings, and smashed against
    a cement surface
Taken for the devil, created an angel
Found that simple human kindness is not so
    simple a thing, after all
Broken beyond touch, beyond repair: How dare I tell
    you that this world is better than those things?
What kind of apology could I make?
Such intentions are obscene, less overtly cruel but
   no manifestly kinder: Why draw you any nearer
    now that you are safely gone?
Would I tell you that your mother really loved you,
Or tried to, or might have, had things been different
Had she encountered more luck or kindness along
     her own way?
Oh, but you already know the answer to this: Did you ever call her anything but Mommy, and warm
          to her embrace?
There is terror, but Satan is the belief
But why should I speak?  You are the proof that we are made for better things
Why should there be any more beauty in the world than than what we put in it?
Still, our life is better than its meaning
Rain ain't memory, and it ain't heroin, either; it ain't no one's tears
It don't need to be anything else